Sooner or later, you’re going to have to lie about having an affair. The topic is going to come up, whether directly or indirectly. “Why were you so late getting home?” for example. If you want to really sell that you were stuck in traffic, you need to control your body and language.

Eye Contact

The idea of “look me in the eye so I can tell if you’re lying” isn’t entirely crap. There are patterns of eye movements that exist. Some can be controlled, some can’t be. But if you’re not married to a forensic specialist, you’ll be able to fake genuine eye movements enough to avoid being overly suspicious. Keep these tips in mind when you’re telling your fibs.

When someone is listening they look at the person speaking. When someone’s talking their eyes go all over. If you try to look deeply into her eyes while you lie to her, that’s going to raise a subconscious red flag. Look at her, but glance away every five seconds or so. Don’t stare. Keep it natural.
Blink every ten seconds or so. Liars tend to blink too much, and then overcompensate for that by staring and not blinking enough.

Match Your Emotions

“Make sure your face expressions match your words”

If you’re trying to tell your wife that you got caught in traffic, you need to sell that idea. Maybe you’re nervous that she’s going to find out that you really weren’t. In order to cover the nerves, you might try to come off overly apologetic. You’re so sorry, it was just crazy out there, etc. Remember that you’re trying to tell her that you have nothing to be apologetic for. If you were stuck in traffic that doubled your commute, would you be sad or pissed off? Pissed. Get pissed. Tell her that none of those fucking morons know how to drive. That’s the kind of emotional response that would sell your lies.

Mirror Her Expressions and Words

“Copy her words, expressions and body language while in an argument”

Mirroring is a simple body language technique that makes people feel closer to you. Just mimic what she’s doing. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it, but standing up when she stands up, crossing your legs when she crosses her legs, and so forth makes her feel like you really get her. On a body language level, she’ll feel like the two of you are on the same page.

If she picks a fight over this, just mirror her words. Rephrase them so they sound like they could be from you, and repeat them. If she says that she feels like she’s always shutting you out, you tell her that it’s like she doesn’t even want to be open with you. These problems mirrored back to her will make her feel like you understand, and the problems you have are mutual.

But the best advice? Above all, keep things simple when you lie. Only lies have detail; if you wouldn’t include details of your drive home usually, don’t load up on them when you were “stuck in traffic”. Just give the vague outlines, and she’ll fill in the rest.